the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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