She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize