I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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