I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's shark week go big or go home
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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