I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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