I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
