i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
