Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
