apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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