It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
His hands were made for my vagina.
There r osticjed everywhere
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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