you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
