I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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