I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
