Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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