Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I will pee on everything he values.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
