I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
