We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
