My first STD was from a foam party
Barsexuality is the new black.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize