Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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