So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
