you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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