Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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