They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
