So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
