he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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