Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize