either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
