Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
