Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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