i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
