To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
