I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
