Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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