can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
