don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she peed on how many people?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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