i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
