Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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