OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
