Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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