someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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