I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
