I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
