Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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