the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
