Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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