Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
