so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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