I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
