I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
