dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
