We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
