I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
