I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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