Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
