My room smells like vodka and shame
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize