You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
