im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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