It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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