i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
