haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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