I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
