where am i from again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
