I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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