just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
