Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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