It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
