ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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