Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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