the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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