I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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