hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
