I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
