My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize