I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
