Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
